Breafast. ..
by DHKitiara
Summary: A mishappen morning in the homestead of the Gundam pilots. ..My idea of a "horror" fic...LoL.


Daybreak. A bright ray of sunlight pierced the darkness of Duo's room, hitting him square in the face. His expression wrinkled, and he yawned, stretching luxuriously. Sighing, he carefully opened his violet eyes, so as not to be blinded by the day's new light. He lay upon a large bed, where he was sprawled out completely. The top sheets lay crumpled at the foot of the bed, an obvious sign of another restless night. Duo's niche body was clothed only by a silky pair of black boxers----nothing more, nothing less.

He sat up, stretching his arms above his head, yawning once more. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Duo pushed himself to his feet. Tromping across the room in a sleepy daze, the boy grabbed his usual outfit, and dressed himself.

He would have continued to wander aimlessly in this tired state, but a loud crash, followed by a violent cursing, broke him from his usual morning routine. Eyes wide, Duo made his way across the room and to his door, poking his head outside to investigate the noise. Seeing nothing, the boy took a step out into the vast hallway, carefully shutting his door behind him.

No sooner had he turned from the door, Heero had appeared, standing nose-to-nose with him, an intense glare upon his face. Duo gulped, his eyes wider than before.

"Morning meal in ten." The ex-assassin stated, smirking, then walking off, pounding on every bedroom door, yelling, "On your feet, you lazy meadow slugs!"

As soon as Heero had disappeared back down the stairway, Duo sunk against the wall with a sigh of relief. Moments later, he stood once more, dusting himself off (although he was perfectly clean). Peering down the hall, the boy made a decision to wake the others, before Heero decided to do it himself. Duo remembered all too well the mornings he had woken to a blast of fireworks beside his pillow. He cringed at the memory, absently rubbing his ear. With another sigh, Duo started off towards Trowa's room.

* * * * *

The room of Trowa Barton was only a few feet and opposite from Duo's own. The door was painted a light tan, decorated with intricate symbols and inscriptions. The enigmatic young man had explained the significance of each marking to Duo, but, being Duo, he'd mostly forgotten.

Grasping the brass doorknob, the braided boy pushed lightly on the door, then stepped back, allowing it to swing open fully. Unlike the majority of the doors in the pilots' homestead, the hinges did not squeak----Trowa was very particular about silence. Duo stood in the doorway, hands on hips, surveying the scene.

The room was like any other, with a few exceptions. A tabby lay curled in a small pile of clothes, a jay was perched upon the back of a chair, and a white tiger slept in the center of an oriental-looking rug. [Not to mention the small squirrel that was nestled in Trowa's. . .bang.] Chuckling to himself, Duo took a step inside, whispering Trowa's name.

And it was in that very moment, that Sargonnas seemed to have risen from the depths of his lair, and taken its toll upon poor Duo.

The cat, upon seeing Duo, rose from its bedding, and deliberately ran across his feet. This cause the boy to lose his footing, and he fell, face first, upon Trowa's bed, which in turn woke Trowa, and he sat upright in alarm. The squirrel, being flung forth by this motion, hit poor Duo in the face, who in turn fell backwards off the bed with a yelp.

After prying the fear-stricken squirrel from his face, Duo pulled himself half-way back onto the bed. Trowa, being fully awake now, stared down at Duo, an annoyed expression upon his face. The braided boy gave a half-wave, laughing nervously.

"H..hiya...M..morning, Tro..Trowa." he stuttered.

"Good morrow, Duo." Trowa replied in monotone, his expression now stone.

"I...just thought you might want to know...Heero said..." his voice trailed off as he sunk lower to the ground, his arms and chin still propped up on the foot of Trowa's bed.

"Breakfast in ten, yes, I heard." Trowa finished the sentence, ignoring Duo's bewildered look. "Now, leave me to prepare myself for such, else I will resort to----" he never finished that sentence; Duo had already scurried out the door with a satisfied air. Trowa rose from his bed and dressed.

Meanwhile, Duo had managed to trip over a bed-ragged Quatre in his haste, being the clumsy fool he is. The two boys sat in the hallway, a bit dazed. Quatre, being polite, dared not say a word, else he would have shouted an insult or two.

Duo was the first to break the silence.

"Quatre!" he shrieked, pouncing on the poor blonde. "You gotta save me! Trowa's gonna---" he was cut short when a loud 'AHEM' came from behind. The two boys turned to see that WuFei had emerged from his "quarters", and was waiting for the two of them to remove themselves from his path.

"WuFei!" Duo cried, leaping to shale the Chinese by his shoulders. "You gotta save me! Trowa's gonna---" again he was cut off.

"Yes, I know. Trowa is going to---" a loud crash from downstairs broke WuFei from his sentence. Quatre lifted himself to his feet, and dusted himself off. He seemed to have been about to say something when Trowa walked out of his room, eyeing the situation with a keen gaze. Duo's eyes widened, and he disappeared down the hall.

Trowa, a look of amusement mingled with satisfaction upon his face, called after the Shinigami, "Duo! I'm not going to---" another crash. The three remaining pilots shrugged, then started off downstairs.

What they saw upon entering the kitchenette shocked and bewildered them all. Even Trowa had to gasp.

"Dear Gundam," Quatre breathed.

"Nataku," WuFei muttered, "guard my soul. .."

Duo, having gotten there ahead of time, was already seating, violet eyes wide, his mouth agape.

Now, you cannot blame any of them for acting this way, for no one should have to have seen what they saw.

Heero stood, a spatula in one hand, a platter of blackened...pancakes?...in the other, a frilly pink apron tied around his tiny waist, and the kitchen looking like World War III had finally struck behind him. He looked like someone's sick idea of Little Debbie after-life.

"Sit." He commanded, somewhat of a glare on his face. Each and every boy did as they were told, their faces still showing complete and utter disgust.

Walking over to the table, Heero slammed the platter onto it, jolting the four pilots out of their state of bewilderment.

"Eat." Again he commanded, but not one of the boys made a move to comply.

"Oh. ..Gundam." Duo wrinkled his nose in abhorrence. "I'd rather be shot."

"That can be arranged." Heero stated simply, pulling his hidden gun from no-where in particular, and putting it to Duo's head.

"Woah!" Duo cried, flinging his hands above him. Panic overtook him, and would've gotten the best of the boy, when he came up with an idea. ..

Meanwhile, Quatre was coming to Duo's rescue.

"Hey! Heero, pick on someone with your own steroid dosage!" The blonde shouted, standing to his feet, leaning forward.

After glancing sideways at WuFei from Quatre's remark, Heero focused his attention back to Duo. "Any last requests?" 

"Actually. .." Duo began, "Yes!" He smiled.

Frowning, Heero lowered his gun, folding his arms across his chest.

"I request," Duo looked side to side, making sure all gazes and attention was centered on himself, pausing dramatically to create some form of what Duo thought to be suspense. "I request that you, Heero, try the food first." He motioned to the blackened plate of...pancakes?. Pocketing the hand gun, Heero grabbed a nearby utensil, and stabbed at the "food". Glancing at Duo once more, he tore of off a small bite, stuffing it into his mouth.

Eyes wide, Heero coughed, a guttural moan escaping his lips as he walked swiftly from the room.

"I honestly pray he hasn't gone for more of that stuff." WuFei stated.

All the while, Duo, being glad he was still alive, was poking at the...pancakes? "Smells like last week's laundry." He muttered.

Trowa seemed about to comment when Heero rushed back in, a handful of explosives in his fists. No one dared to speak as Heero planted the assortment of ignitable items into the...pancakes? Stepping back, the boy held up a small trigger button.

"Mission," Heero ran his thumb over the button, "Accepted."

With the pressing of a button, the...pancakes?...were blown to, in short, smithereens. Tiny bits and pieces were stuck to the walls, curtains, windows, floor, and faces of each pilot.

"Well!" Duo exclaimed, jumping to his feet with a clap, "Who's up for Egg McMuffins?"


End file.
